Do you know those moments
When you just stop living ahead?
When you ignore your opponents
And simply exist instead?
You become a spectator
And stand still even while moving
And sometimes only realize later
That it felt quite soothing
It feels as if you were in a bubble
You see all the stress going on outside
But for you there’s no trouble
In your zone you can breathe and hide
The feeling of true peace
The deep tranquillity in your cave
The calm in midst of stormy seas
Where you’re completely safe
Feeling good for no particular reason today and decided to just role with it… :)
Is it just me or does the sun shine differently in spring?
Don’t get me wrong, I love winter, and snow, and the cold… But how lovely are the first days of spring, when the air is still fresh, the flowers not quite out yet, and it’s actually only a few degrees warmer than during the winter months (yet everybody gets their summer clothes out already). Although the changes aren’t actually that striking, it feels completely different. Maybe it’s the grass turning green, the birds returning from the south and singing their songs, the first bugs humming through the air, or even the sound of airplanes in the sky.
Or maybe it’s knowing that spring is on its way, the thought of sitting outside on a river bench, barbecuing in a friend’s garden, going on hikes, jumping in a lake, or just enjoying ice cream that always melts way too fast and makes a huge mess.
Or is it just our bodies craving the heat of the sun and being outside after the winter time mostly spent in houses by the fire or cuddled into blankets? It’s probably a mix of all these things. Just a deep joy to see the seasons changing that cannot really be grasped. It’s the same every year, but it never fails to be special. It simply feels awesome!
Hope you all had some sunshine today!
(back from hibernation… :D )
I sit in my room
I should pass the broom
But it’s just a way
I make bad choices
Blank out the noises
In my head – telling me
To get out of bed
The same problems
Are they really problems
Or is it me not being ok?
The same problems
Make them go away
Let me be happy
So I can stay
I spend the day
Just waiting away
Not knowing where to start
Not feeling smart
Where is my energy?
Where is the better ‘me’?
How can I start over?
Where’s my lucky clover?
I’m sick of it
Sick of this sh*t
Sick of myself
Sick of being someone else
Gotta be me, do me
Laugh with my roomie
‘Bout all those dark thoughts
And complaining about-
What are we complaining about
It’s nothing, no big deal
Just anxiety that rolls the wheel
The same problems
It’s up to me alone
To make them go away
And I stay
I will fight
I am smart
My choices bright
And I’m alright
Another song that was written quite quickly and randomly earlier today. Nothing fancy, just me messing around with a guitar and some thoughts.
Have a great day!
The streets for hours
Through the night
When we passed the church
And got hurt
You went down
On the ground
And it made
A dull sound
I was shocked
But you said you were alright
And that was when
I lost the fight
I burst out laughing
I couldn’t stop
It was so funny
How you had dropped
But I’m sorry
I really am
For laughing although
You hurt your hand
Believe me, man
And please forgive me
I hope you can
I am aware of the bad quality of this poem :) – it was actually a little song I quickly wrote for a friend. She had a little accident last time we met and I wanted to apologize for my reaction… (don’t worry, she’s ok, and she laughs about it, too – I even have her permission to put this up here)
I just thought you might be able to relate to those situations where you just can’t help but laugh…
Also, why not start the New Year with a bit of randomness!
“What exactly makes an adult different from a child?” asked the kid.
“Structure”, said the woman with the irregular working hours while trying to tidy her messy apartment.
“Security”, said the man who made his money at the casino.
“Reliability”, said the woman who had forgotten to show up at her date.
“Purposefulness”, said the man who was, after years and years, still searching for a job he actually liked.
“A family they could choose”, said the woman, crying, not knowing whether her partner would come back after their last fight.
“Independence”, said the man with the broken foot, waiting for his partner to help him downstairs.
“Responsibility”, said the woman blowing the smoke of her cigarette into the face of her new-born.
“Control”, said the man while the woman next to him absent-mindedly touched her black eye.
“Knowledge”, said the woman who didn’t really know who she was or who she wanted to be.
The kid continued searching, exploring, growing, finding, stepping back and stepping forth, wondering, learning, fearing, laughing, crying, being…
And so did the adults.
Being up late at night, reading a book or just listening to some music while looking at the stars is so comforting. There’s something calming about knowing that most people are asleep. It’s a peaceful silence. It is freeing because there’s no one to judge you. You don’t have to explain what you are doing and why, you don’t have to pretend, and you won’t be compared to anyone. You don’t have to live up to any expectations. Nobody has to know, and nobody cares. That’s nice. Of course it’s important to have people who care about you, but sometimes you just need to be by yourself, without having to worry about people or calm people who worry about you. Nighttime seems to be a good time for that. Just a few hours to be completely free. Sometimes bad feelings and anxiety can start haunting you in those moments of solitude, but if you manage to switch them all off it can turn into a feeling of satisfaction and contentment. Whenever I feel squished by life I try to remember that feeling and it always helps me to calm down.
Sometimes it helps to go back to simply existing before tackling everything else in our lives.
Everyone goes outside on a sunny day, takes walks along the river or through the forest. But have you ever taken the time to go sit in the forest by yourself on a rainy day?
Have you ever taken the time to turn off your phone and put away your book in order to just sit and be?
Have you ever started to listen to the raindrops falling on the roof of leaves above you and on the stones and dirt around you?
Were you ever a bit scared at first from all the sounds you couldn’t quite understand, and have you ever come to the conclusion that you are safe among all these living things around you?
Have you ever hesitated before shooing away a moth and realised that it just wanted to sit down next to you and keep you company for a little while?
Have you ever watched the mountains on the horizon slowly disappear in the creeping darkness and let the light breeze play with your hair?
Have you ever decided to leave, just before it got too dark to find your way back, not because you were afraid, but because you no longer wanted to disturb the nocturnal peace of that special place?
Have you ever taken a truly fulfilling breath before walking home with a light feeling of bliss in your heart?