I haven’t posted anything on here in months. I never post regularly because I like to write when I feel like it and when I have time. I don’t want to force or pressure myself, especially because my studies have to come first. But in the end, this blog always ends up being neglected. Sometimes for a really long time.
I just got an email notification from a fan fiction website where I once posted one or two chapters on a series I used to watch about five years ago. The email said that someone subscribed to it and reviewed it. I have no clue how they managed to come across this insignificant little story in the huge vortex of texts on this platform, but they did, and they took the time to leave me a message, which I highly appreciate.
To sum it up, the review said that the person really liked the story and that it was sad that I never finished it. They said that they subscribed in the hope that I would come back to continue what I’ve started. I was very moved by this post. I had only posted a little something and to me, it was nothing special. In addition, my English was even worse back then than it is not (so pretty horrible :D ).
I won’t finish that story because it has been too long and I stopped watching said series a long time ago, but it just made me think about my writing. Should I force myself more? Force myself to take the time to write regularly and make conscious decisions about when to sit down and write? I always say that I write for myself, but if that is the case then why do I upload my texts? I also wonder why I haven’t felt the urge to write in a few months. Was I just too busy, or did I just feel like there was nothing to write about? Sometimes I’m scared I’ll eventually just run out of ideas all together. That’s scary because on here I usually post mostly thoughts that are on my mind, so did I get less thoughtful recently?
This also ties in with a topic that I touched on in an earlier post, which is the fact that I feel a stronger need to write when something upsets or bothers me. I have been really happy and content lately, which is great, but does this prove that I cannot write when I’m balanced? Does this mean that discontent fuels my writing? Another scary, concerning thought.
I don’t know, I guess I’ll just wait and see what happens and observe how I feel about writing. Maybe I’ll try to make some more time for it in order to sit down like now and just type down my thoughts and then go from there.
There’s not really a point to this text. Just some very open thoughts and reflections that are nowhere near to coming to a conclusion. So this text won’t have a conclusion either, but if you want to add your thoughts to the picture you’re more than welcome to.
All the best