Misty sadness

Sometimes when I’m alone, I have this strange feeling coming all over me, taking over my emotions and thoughts without actually explaining itself. It’s a kind of fear squishing my heart. This pressure won’t let go anymore, and I start to feel sad in a very strange way. At the same time, it’s a really calm and quiet feeling. Maybe you think I’m stupid, weird, or even both, but maybe you know what I mean. Some of you might know this sensation very well, others might not have been able to grasp it and now, when they read about it, they can rely on what I’m writing, and realize that they sometimes feel the same. When it happens, you don’t know what is missing, but it’s obvious that you need it badly. It seems as if you couldn’t live without it, but you can’t get it either because, most of the time, you don’t know what it is. And if you know, you either can’t do anything against it, or you just don’t have the strength to move and change your life. Personally, I often sense it as a kind of nostalgia. Like I said, something’s missing. For the moment it feels like it will be like this forever, and that you won’t be able to forget it anymore, but by the time you go to sleep, it will slowly pass away and you’ll forget. Until it happens again. Sometimes you’ll remember the last time you felt this way, sometimes you won’t, and at a certain point in your life, you will ask yourself if others know this feeling, too, or if they are at least able to understand it. So you tell them about it, even if it might make them think that you’re a complete weirdo. It’s a risk you’re willing to take to finally give this feeling a name, and to express it. Currently I am at this point, and I’m telling you.
Now tell me, do you understand?



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