In life people come and go. Passengers, travellers, searching, finding, losing, winning. Some seem to just stop by, say hello and leave again. You’d never expect them to stick around. But sometimes they do. But even the ones that only share a short part of your path with you can end up touching your life in a way you had never expected. Others make you believe that they will stay forever. Then they’re gone. Leaving behind a mark that might disappear someday. Maybe it will only fade away partially. Maybe it will stay with you forever. No matter what happens with and to it, it’s ok. These marks don’t stain your life, they simply show that you’re living it. Don’t stress over marks you cannot yet burry. Focus on the ones you never want to forget and cherish those. Cherish the people that touched your life in the best way possible – whether you expected them to do so or not. Take a second to reflect on who makes it on this list. Maybe you’ll be surprised at how long it actually is.
I haven’t posted anything on here in months. I never post regularly because I like to write when I feel like it and when I have time. I don’t want to force or pressure myself, especially because my studies have to come first. But in the end, this blog always ends up being neglected. Sometimes for a really long time.
I just got an email notification from a fan fiction website where I once posted one or two chapters on a series I used to watch about five years ago. The email said that someone subscribed to it and reviewed it. I have no clue how they managed to come across this insignificant little story in the huge vortex of texts on this platform, but they did, and they took the time to leave me a message, which I highly appreciate.
To sum it up, the review said that the person really liked the story and that it was sad that I never finished it. They said that they subscribed in the hope that I would come back to continue what I’ve started. I was very moved by this post. I had only posted a little something and to me, it was nothing special. In addition, my English was even worse back then than it is not (so pretty horrible :D ).
I won’t finish that story because it has been too long and I stopped watching said series a long time ago, but it just made me think about my writing. Should I force myself more? Force myself to take the time to write regularly and make conscious decisions about when to sit down and write? I always say that I write for myself, but if that is the case then why do I upload my texts? I also wonder why I haven’t felt the urge to write in a few months. Was I just too busy, or did I just feel like there was nothing to write about? Sometimes I’m scared I’ll eventually just run out of ideas all together. That’s scary because on here I usually post mostly thoughts that are on my mind, so did I get less thoughtful recently?
This also ties in with a topic that I touched on in an earlier post, which is the fact that I feel a stronger need to write when something upsets or bothers me. I have been really happy and content lately, which is great, but does this prove that I cannot write when I’m balanced? Does this mean that discontent fuels my writing? Another scary, concerning thought.
I don’t know, I guess I’ll just wait and see what happens and observe how I feel about writing. Maybe I’ll try to make some more time for it in order to sit down like now and just type down my thoughts and then go from there.
There’s not really a point to this text. Just some very open thoughts and reflections that are nowhere near to coming to a conclusion. So this text won’t have a conclusion either, but if you want to add your thoughts to the picture you’re more than welcome to.
All the best
Warning: probably quite random text… :D
This is not a pancake recipe review, and it is not about me failing to make pancakes, either. Au contraire dear people, I recently made pancakes that totally rocked! This is probably the point where you start to worry what this weird post might be about, or start to wonder why you are reading it, so let me get right to it. I have been lucky enough to travel to the United States and Canada several times in my still rather short life, and every European will know how much you miss pancakes once you return. Of course, in the age of globalization you can also get them in Europe, you can buy baking mixtures and so on. So the other day, I decided to make them from scratch because there is not that much that goes into pancakes ingredient wise and SURPRISE, yes we have eggs, milk, flour and so on in Europe, too ;).
Now, as already mentioned, they turned out pretty decent (I might have been a bit too euphoric before, although they were really good, I guess there is still much better out there). They were thick and fluffy and not flat like the pancakes we usually make over here, but they were still light and spongy. I also liked how they tasted, but for some deranged reason it was just not the same. I understand that you cannot make every dish in foreign countries, for instance when you lack certain ingredients, but pancakes? Come on!
Eventually I came to the conclusion that having them in America is special. It is linked to the joy of travelling, discovering, and experiencing new things that just makes a lot of things really amazing. It is the fact that you can only get something whilst you are abroad that makes it taste ten times better because it is unique to you and you know you might not get it anymore in a long time. The fact that it was quite easy, even when making them from scratch implied that, if I wanted, I could eat them all the time, which would make destroy the spark they had for me.
You are probably still wondering where I am going with this, and, to be honest, I am not too sure what my concrete point is, either, but I guess in the end this is about diversity and globalization. Being able to get everything everywhere does not just have benefits. Some things are and should be more or less unique to a certain culture. Of course I will still make pancakes every now and then. I have no clue if and when I will return to America, after all. But only if they remind me of my travels and adventures that lead me to experience where pancakes came from and, in a way, belong to, they will taste really good. That is the secret ingredient. And they will never taste as amazing as they do when you eat them where they came from. (Now if you are a pancake specialist and about to tell me that pancakes originally came from somewhere else, or something along those lines, I do not want to hear it, ok?! :D )
On a smaller scale, it is like living in northern Europe and eating strawberries in winter (which I avoid whenever I can). It is not normal and the amazing thing about strawberries here is that you can only have them for a certain time and thus you will enjoy them so much more. I am not about to tell you not to import anything and so on, I am not a hypocrite, I buy imported goods all the time, myself. But I think with some items it is good to remind ourselves where they come from, what it takes to get them to us, and if it is needed or beneficial if we have constant access to them.
Maybe that made you think, maybe it weirded you out, both is totally ok to me :D
Have a great day!
Sorry for my incredibly long absence! I recently took my BA exams and the months before that were a bit chaotic. Hopefully I’ll have some more time again now. This text is more of a rant than a creative text or poem, but it’s a topic I’ve wanted to write about for a while and tonight I decided to just put it out there.
I am not a big fan of TV ads in general (I guess most of us are not), but what really gets my blood boiling in most of the cases are beauty product ads. Not just on TV, but in general, I often notice these phenomena in magazines or any other ad type, as well. In my experience, lots of ads use the following statements in one way or another (either implicitly or straigt out):
You NEED said product to a) be confident and/ or b) succeed (be it in relationships, at school, or in the business world)
In my opinion, this is problematic on many levels. The confidence part implies that being confident without the product is not an option, when I am convinced most of us would do just fine without. I am not saying that beauty products cannot help you gain confidence, but it is important to stress that there are also other ways to self-acceptance and, if you do not want to use them to become confident, you do not have to.
The success aspect is even more complex, because it puts pressure on people and demonstrates “social expectations”, like having to look a certain way for a certain job. Again, yes, in some jobs a certain physique is required, but a) this is not always actually the case and b) it is questionable if the advertised product will actually make the difference. It is also problematic due to the fact that it often aims at giving people all they need in order to “fit in” (for instance at school) which is not very encouraging to kids to be themselves and love their bodies and appearances. This obviously also links back to the confidence aspect.
I do not have a problem with beauty products. I use them myself and I also get that advertisement is meant to get people to buy products. But this is exactly why I feel the need to remind you that they are an option and a choice, not a must-have. Ads like this reinforce beauty ideals made up by our society (or, on a larger scale, this world’s societies) and thus reduce diversity and individuality, which I find quite a shame. They should be seen as accessories, rather than necessities.
I know, people have become more and more aware of this over the past few years, celebrities have raised awareness for it, and so on. Nevertheless, I still see these ads and in them, little has changed, as far as my experience goes, which is why I felt the need to write about this issue, even though many others already have done so before me. Maybe it will be a little reminder to all of us to be critical of what we perceive through media.
Have a great day and please remind yourself of how amazing you are, especially without any beauty products :)
Do you know those moments
When you just stop living ahead?
When you ignore your opponents
And simply exist instead?
You become a spectator
And stand still even while moving
And sometimes only realize later
That it felt quite soothing
It feels as if you were in a bubble
You see all the stress going on outside
But for you there’s no trouble
In your zone you can breathe and hide
The feeling of true peace
The deep tranquillity in your cave
The calm in midst of stormy seas
Where you’re completely safe
Feeling good for no particular reason today and decided to just role with it… :)
Is it just me or does the sun shine differently in spring?
Don’t get me wrong, I love winter, and snow, and the cold… But how lovely are the first days of spring, when the air is still fresh, the flowers not quite out yet, and it’s actually only a few degrees warmer than during the winter months (yet everybody gets their summer clothes out already). Although the changes aren’t actually that striking, it feels completely different. Maybe it’s the grass turning green, the birds returning from the south and singing their songs, the first bugs humming through the air, or even the sound of airplanes in the sky.
Or maybe it’s knowing that spring is on its way, the thought of sitting outside on a river bench, barbecuing in a friend’s garden, going on hikes, jumping in a lake, or just enjoying ice cream that always melts way too fast and makes a huge mess.
Or is it just our bodies craving the heat of the sun and being outside after the winter time mostly spent in houses by the fire or cuddled into blankets? It’s probably a mix of all these things. Just a deep joy to see the seasons changing that cannot really be grasped. It’s the same every year, but it never fails to be special. It simply feels awesome!
Hope you all had some sunshine today!
(back from hibernation… :D )
I sit in my room
I should pass the broom
But it’s just a way
I make bad choices
Blank out the noises
In my head – telling me
To get out of bed
The same problems
Are they really problems
Or is it me not being ok?
The same problems
Make them go away
Let me be happy
So I can stay
I spend the day
Just waiting away
Not knowing where to start
Not feeling smart
Where is my energy?
Where is the better ‘me’?
How can I start over?
Where’s my lucky clover?
I’m sick of it
Sick of this sh*t
Sick of myself
Sick of being someone else
Gotta be me, do me
Laugh with my roomie
‘Bout all those dark thoughts
And complaining about-
What are we complaining about
It’s nothing, no big deal
Just anxiety that rolls the wheel
The same problems
It’s up to me alone
To make them go away
And I stay
I will fight
I am smart
My choices bright
And I’m alright
Another song that was written quite quickly and randomly earlier today. Nothing fancy, just me messing around with a guitar and some thoughts.
Have a great day!